: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize