Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
