you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
