I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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