Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
