put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
