Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
