It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize