Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
