im about as happy as oj after his trial
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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