I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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