Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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