Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
