I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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