I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
