I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I want to fling myself into the sun
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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