Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
