we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
