jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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