Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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