God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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