thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize