walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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