she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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