I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
