Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
