I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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