Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
