He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
