Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
