He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize