Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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