Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
