Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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