How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize