dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
