You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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