The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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