the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
