Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
