he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
