I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
