Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
