So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
