i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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