At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
