Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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