If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
