Apparently you make a good broom.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
