I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
