apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize