accomplished twins. life is a go
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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