sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
