The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
