Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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