Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i think im in europe. pls send help
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
