woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
