are you still at the devil's house?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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