Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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