We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
What happened to fro yo and sex?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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