So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
