Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
