Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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