Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
