Dude my mom stole all your condoms
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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