escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
