I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
